What a horrible country New Zealand is becoming

Unlike most nations we've managed to avoid arming our regular police force… until now. NZ Police cars will now have a stash of various firearms in the boot - available at a moments notice. 

It's a clear indication of which direction a once largely peaceful nation is heading.

That being said it's worth noting that the police are still reluctant to use them.

And… we remain number two in the world peace rankings.

Which all leads me to believe I've used the wrong heading for this commentary. It should read "What a horrible nation…" because after all it's still the most beautiful country in the world - n'est-ce pas?

Remember when you were young…?

… and observing  your parents reading the newspaper you thought they were naff? I mean what could be more boring than reading a newspaper?

Some 20+ years later I'm sitting in the lounge on a very rainy New Years Eve reading the New Zealand Herald. Since my time in the UK, where I read The Times (a beast of a paper compared to the tiny Herald), I've garnered a love for the weekend paper. Mainly because as well as giving a summary of the news it tends to tell a few 'human interest' stories as well.

It's something I miss in Turkey and especially so as the English translation of the Turkish news is heavily oriented towards politics. In addition, something I find mildly amusing is that the 97% Muslim readership newspaper has without fail had a scantily clad woman (not wearing much) on their home page, yet she is absent from the English version!

Moving from newspapers to television for a second... At first I enjoyed TV One's daily end of news reports on Good Sorts (people who do good things in the community). Then I became bored with it - this was all when I was living in New Zealand. Now on my return I'm proud that we at least have Good Sorts as a regular feature on the daily news which, let's face it, in every country in the world is dominated by bad news.

This leads directly to what I was reading in the newspaper this morning which is the New Years Honours (British honours system).

Whether you are a Royalist (kral taraftarı) or not it's still great to read that there are many people out there doing good works. I confess to thinking that the granting of honours has become over zealous (ateşli) in the last few decades and the pessimist (karamsar) inside of me can't help but think it's just to promote the flagging interest (ikaz davranışı) in the Royals.

Either way it's great to hear the good news and it's often inspiring too.

Ho Ho Ho (burp)

In the best of Christmas traditions I've over eaten. Now don't be fooled into thinking I've been gorging on cake, ham, booze and the rest. No no no.

I'm on my own and last night along with the cats I didn't have any dinner. So after a very long morning and part of the afternoon sorting through my junk I was hit with a massive pang of hunger.
Now this isn't your normal pang of hunger - this is the mf of hunger pangs (to paraphrase and cheat a little from Pulp Fiction, thanks Quentin).

So being the extremely proficient chef that I am I went to the fridge, took out a pack of 6 frankfurters, cooked 'em up, nuked 6 pieces of toast, slapped on way to much cheese, and ate like I was never going to eat again.

Hence my stomache is now trying to escape my body like a baby trying to escape it's mother.


~


Whilst we are talking of movies, and I realise it's not the best time to mention non-Christmasy movies, I'd really like to bring a couple of brill ones to your attention.

Firstly, there's Adam Resurrected, and secondly PU-239.

Be warned: neither are light hearted, nor pleasant, however in a dark sort of way they are both uplifting insights into the human spirit. Well I think they are anyway.

I happened to catch both of them over the last 2 days by chance and thus I'm now passing them on perchance you may see them.

Christmas spirit and all that.


~


Lastly, a pic I just happened to come across in my travels that I really liked.

How? I put "Swedish Christmas" into Google Images and this was one of the results.

Tarakihi

A New Zealand tarakihi fish fillet. Tarakihi is a Māori word. 

Choices

Life is full of choices. 

I estimate we make over 1000 choices every day and that's being conservative.


Before you finish making a choice to disagree let's have a closer look.


Every morning before I've left home I've made a bunch of choices.

I chose what time I would get up. I chose whether I would get up at all. I chose to make my bed. I chose to have a shower. I chose to brush my teeth. I chose to have breakfast. I chose to wear my green pants. I chose to do my hair. I chose to put my washing in the machine. I chose to have breakfast. I chose to have museli. I chose to have hot chocolate. I chose to get to work/school on time so I chose to take the car to the train station because I was running late...

These choices may seem inconsequential. Maybe they are...




What about these choices that I made at the same time as the ones above?

I chose it's important to get up. I chose it's nicer to be clean, smell good and have sparkling teeth. I chose to give myself a running start with the day by eating. I chose to have a tidy room...

What about these choices?

I choose that it's important what I think about myself - not what others think.

I choose to appreciate what I do have - not to focus on what I don't have.

I choose to smile.

I choose to say "thank you".

I choose to say "sorry".

I choose to have a great day.

Life is full of choices.

What will you choose today?

Found!

It's all very exciting. I've found some of my World Updates!


When I left New Zealand back in 1996 I started emailing family and friends every now and then to update them on what was happening on my side of the world. These updates were known as "World Updates".


I thought I had long lost them but when I came to NZ recently and had a chance to look into an old PC I found a few of the very first ones.


They are now loaded onto this blog starting at No 1 :)

Listen to this - Bu dinlemek

Bir Değil Bin Ömrüm Olsa - a song by Yasin

Whirling

Just saw some whirling dervishes. It was pretty spectacular :)


It wasn't in the cultural centre mentioned in the link but in Sirkeci Station ("Sir-keji") which made it a bit different. Whilst quite expensive for the one hour session I reckon it was worth it. Both the Sufi music and the dancing were great in their own right.


The actually whirling itself is beyond comprehension physically. It must take a while to master.

Quick update

The cold weather is settling in for the duration. Rumour has it that it's going to be a cold one this year. Already I've become accustomed to wearing a scarf and beanie.

Work is work. Nothing much to report there. In the time I've been there which is only 3 months now we've lost 3 head teachers and after 13 years our director of studies (head of teaching department) has thrown the towel in. 

There's a clear divide in staff not only on an academic basis but also an ethnic one. The Turks are sales staff and the teachers are yabanci (foreigners). Actually this is normal. However at our school the Turks don't speak English which is peculiar given that it's an English school. As such, we don't communicate and there's a fair amount of animosity from them to us.

Thus,  interaction with the other staff is often painful and to be avoided at all costs.

The teaching however remains challenging. I'm still learning every day. Sometimes it's how to teach a concept. Other times it's how to throw my students out of the classroom!

Pelin has work now which has changed her mood considerably and makes me feel more comfortable too. She's more tired, yet happier overall to be occupied. Free time was killing her.

Nothing going on on the friends front which means my sole friendly interaction is Pelin with a little bit from my fellow teachers. However the latter is limited. 

Learning Turkish should be more of a priority than it is but I'm still adjusting to the programme of longer hours, less breaks and different conditions.

Overall things are good. 

:) 

Reverse Blog

Hello World. This is a reverse blog. I'd like you to send me a note and tell me what you are up to…

Blogging

The thing with blogging is this: I thought it would be a great idea as a portal for me to express my ideas and experiences. Which it is of course.


However, I've found there is a down side which is that I feel guilty when I haven't posted for a while. It's not for lack of things to post I can assure you as there are plenty of those. The problem is finding the enthusiasm and, for want of a better word, energy.


It's gotten to the stage now whereby I'm daunted by: the number of things I want to say, the time it will take to say them they way I want to say them and the fact that as each day passes the list grows.


So I've decided to try and do a little every now and then. 


Let's see if I can chip away at the mountain of typing..

Ne kadar?

Ne kadar? translates to "How much?" so it's used to ask for the price of things. It's not really the topic of this blog but last week I lost two amounts of 20 lira (about 20 dollars NZ so it's related).


When I catch the bus to work in the mornings it's so full that people are pressed against the front door. There are usually 3 sets of doors on the buses: front, middle and back (of the bus). If the front is too full to jump onto the bus (where you pay using an electronic card) then local custom is to use one of the other doors where there is usually less people and enough room to squeeze in.


Then you give your card to someone and it gets passed to the front of the bus to pay and works it's way back to you. Quite a neat system.


However, the other day I jumped on the back door and had my card passed up and back. It wasn't until I tried to use the card again that I found out that the balance left on it was zero instead of 20 lira! The cards all look the same and I presume it got mixed up with another persons card on the way back. Bugger. 


So I refilled the card with another 20 lira. Then yesterday when I was paying for a return ferry from one of the Princes Islands I happened to be in the wrong ferry terminal. I was in the fast (and more expensive one) and I had already paid the higher price before I realised. So there went another 20 lira down the drain.


Just part of the experience….

2 seconds

Wow! I've been away for over a month. That's hard to imagine.

I've just done my homework (class preparation for tomorrows 2x 4 hour classes) and I'm very happy because for the first time in ages I feel like I have 5 minutes to type AND the energy to do it.

Hopefully this is a sign of things to come and I'll be here more often. Time will tell.

Hope to provide more info soon.

Hope you are well! :)

Peace and Humptiness

It's fair to say that I find myself with a lot of time on my hands. And it's not the first time in my life I've had this luxury - which by the way you shouldn't be fooled into thinking is all good news.


In many ways I think it's a unique opportunity as I - like many others - easily get tied up in the daily workings of life. It's something I've noticed and written about before. Walking to work in Edinburgh particularly comes to mind where the people I looked at seemed like machines. I couldn't help but think that they probably walked exactly the same path and even the exact same footfalls the day before.


Historically when I've had too much time to ruminate I've spent the time stressing about how my life isn't what I want it to be and how it's the people around me who have caused it to be so.  Thus isn't not been a terribly rewarding experience.


These days it has a better groove to it. Whilst it still has a philosophical slant, my thoughts tend to move into some of the bigger questions. Questions like: Why? or to give you a bit more to work with Why are we here?


It seems funny to me how we humans approach things. I can't help but think we must be among the dumbest creatures on the planet. 


In essence life really is quite easy. What's it all about? Well in my view we are little different from any other animal be it 2 or 4 legs. We go throughout our day providing for our basic daily needs: food and shelter. 


Along the way we have some other things going on too. Say for example Not the rudimentary ones like visiting the latrine but the inbuilt desire for a partner. Whether this is to satisfy our social or sexual needs isn't so relevant. The desire is still there. And I'd even throw into the hat the idea that those who don't have these needs are only convincing themselves of such because they've become somewhat disillusioned with the world and people in it (or like all thoughts this is maybe just a reflection of my mind).


When I was younger (as I'm so old now) I put together a phrase I particularly like:

Peace and humptiness forever

The peace part relates to the obvious - let's live peacefully with one another. Humptiness comes from a theme in a Fresh Prince (Will Smith) song. In the song doing the "Humpty dance" refers to having sex/making love with/to someone.


At the time I was firmly of the belief that we are on this planet for one reason and that is simply to reproduce. Built into our systems like every other animal is the desire to produce more of ourselves. In Darwinian terms without this trait we'd become extinct right?


Dang I've lost track of why I went down this path. Even going back and reading the blurb doesn't help. So I'll assume it was all about the simplicity of our existence and it's meaning. Hmm … or… perhaps about humans being stupid. Yeah let's continue on the latter.


So if our basic reason for existence is to eat and sleep then why-oh-why do we spend so much time making our life so complex?


Just take a quick look around you and count the number of people who are complaining about something (like I am now lol).


Wouldn't it be so much easier to focus on what's going right and let bygones be bygones? Apparently not. 


I suspect this has something to do with taking responsibility for our lives. If we can lay the blame at someone else's door then we can happily go forward thinking that our ills are someone else's fault. I mean we're perfect aren't we? It surely can't be my fault if I'm unhappy.


And please don't be fooled into thinking that my life is glorious. Because like my perception of others lives it has it's good and bad moments. In addition I feel my pendulum swings are quite large and think it would be nicer if they were a little smaller but have since realised that this isn't the way it works for me.


Hmm .. I've run out of momentum … so where to leave this?


Well I think it's best to leave you with this idea:

Life is simple...

Thanks to Cool Cookie & Life for this quote

Quick hit

So much to update you on. Been a hectic 24 hours.


But I'll be short and say I have a new home with a couple from Syria and Italy and I think our flat mate is from Australia.


Fell much more relaxed that this morning that's for sure!

Cats

Another Turkish red-tape story. This time with cats…

I'm sure I've spoken of this before and I'm sure I'll speak of it again.

A week or more ago I took a trip to a new area for me called Fatih. 

Of all the areas of Istanbul this one is often referred to as the most religious - in the sense that you are more likely to see women wearing a niqab or al-amira. Perhaps it's more religious because it is closer to the old historical area of Sultanamet. Whilst the al-amira is quite common in Istanbul the niqab isn't. I'd shudder to guess at percentages but a rough idea from simple observation might be: European style of clothing 70%, niqab 25%, al-amira 5%.  

I got up really early for my trip to the Police department in Fatih who manage passports, visas, permits and the like. 

[Opps I had to hit <backspace> a few times here as I realised I'd written about this already! - see "Efes Dark Brown"]

On this occasion and also following my return with the correct proof of sufficient money I took a zig-zag journey through Fatih just to see more of the area.

This took me through a new camii (mosque) or rather one that was having some work done to it. 

As with a number of mosques there are many entry points as the compass goes. In between the entry points in this care were grassy areas fenced off with iron railings. 

The local stray cats think this is a great thing as it allows them a private area of their own away from the public if they want some space to have babies, lie in peace or whatever. Having said this they are very friendly and like to interact with people albeit usually near the fences to they can make a quick exit to safety if needs be.

On my second trip here I parked for quite a while. I'd returned to the same spot as the previous time as it's off the main track and there were some cats that seemed to like me so I was hoping for a rendezvous.

Sure enough they popped up and we had a chat. Rather than pick them up or put them on my lap I let them do their own thing. I've noticed that if you stop petting them as well they tend to make up their minds as to whether they want to sit down and snooze or more onto the next "victim" in search of food.

After half an hour or so I had 4 cats sitting on me. 2 were slouching over my head and shoulders with the assistance of my backpack to sit on and the other 2 were on my lap. I couldn't sit up straight as to do so would have caused the 2 on the top to fall down.

So there I was sitting like a hunchback for quite a considerable time whilst the locals meandered past me with a variety of looks on their faces.

It was clear that some thought I was mad and to be fair I'd have to support them if it came down to betting. I can be pretty darn eccentric at the best of times.

Others - usually women or children - would smile (with me not at me). 

And fewer still would stop and say something. This particular minority I found very interesting. They tended to be at least 60+ and when they spoke to me Allah often came up in the conversation. Of course I have no idea in what context but based on their body language and tone I'd say it was a compliment and got the impression that it was a good thing to "be at one" with the animals.

I was quite chuffed with their praise.

= To do list - not a blog

Turtles
Meaning of life= partner
Travel v family
Bus cards to front
Movie break

Slow but Damned Cute

Ülkü is a student from my old work. She introduced me to her friend Sabriye who in turn introduced me to a group of Turks who get together for various events.


The name of the group is Etkinlik Dünyası which when I translated it came back as World Event. Ha! I only just translated it as part of writing this blog. Quite a grand title.


Anyway this is only one of many groups run by Kemal - a man of much experience in his 63 years. My first interaction with Etkinlik Dünyası was with Kemal guiding us around some sites in Istanbul. 


Sabriye, prior to the event, had told me that the members were older than most. I had anticipated a bunch of geriatrics who enjoyed getting together for tea and crumpets with an educational theme. What I wasn't prepared for was a bunch of geriatrics with the energy and enthusiasm of people in their 30s.


We spent the whole day walking around Istanbul taking photos and stopping occassionally so Kemal could pass on his knowledge of a particular site. When we stopped for a tea break Sabriye pulled out a skipping rope from her bag! I thought this was an odd thing to be carrying around with you on a guided tour of a city but turns out it's a mini-theme with this group.


Abdulhalim, who is 70, was 2nd in line to hop about with the rope. It gives you a feel for the nature of the people.


Since the initial meeting we've: trekked 14km of Belgrade Forest, trekked Beykoz Forest, visited a number of museums and camii (mosques), been to Miniatürk which is a collection of miniatures of the famous sites of Turkey, gone ice skating and swimming.


Thus on my Facebook I am now a member of 4 or 5 groups. All the people are Turkish and so is the language of the discussions i.e. I don't understand a thing.


Basically it's great for me as it gives me something to do and people to spend the time with which in my current predicament of having not so many friends to kick around with is a great thing. Ha what a sentence - don't show that to any potential employers!


As mentioned above one of the trips was to Beykoz Forest. On this particular trek I encountered something I've never seen before on a walk in any country - turtles!


I noticed that some of the group were gathered around something and went to inspect. Low-and-behold there was a turtle about the length of my foot. If you really want me to I'll take a picture of my foot so you can measure :)


It was a real surprise and I didn't expect to see them again but I did. In fact I almost trod on one. It was doing it's own trek from one side of the path to the other and was partially covered in growth.


You can imagine my relief at having seen it before standing on it! Really - I can't think of anything worse than treading on a turtle in the forest - can you?

A Menagerie of Items

WARNING: Do not read if you can be offended by discussions about "wet dreams" or content of a sexual nature.


1. Half Awake


Best to start at the beginning. I went to bed sometime after 3am and woke at 6.30am. Needless to say (which logically is a silly thing to state) I'm pretty tired and my brain isn't functioning yet.


Recently I've been getting up when I wake up. Not because I'm trying to get into a good sleeping pattern or anything sensible like that but because I don't feel like lying in bed.


Given that I'm a man of leisure once again what usually ensues is that I have breakfast, toddle about for a bit online and then go back to bed when my eyes start closing on me.


2. Bed Wetting


This one stems from a young fella in our household going through this awkward problem. It made me wonder if this is a boy thing or happens to girls too. I assume it does as it's described as a bladder disfunction.


In my research I came across this from Urban Dictionary and simply had to share :)

Bed wetting: what happens when you ignore your penis for too long and it decides to plot out revenge.

Just before I continue onto the story I'd best add that I discovered this topic should have been called "Wet Dreams" rather than bed wetting.


Actually it's rather a convoluted story but hopefully you'll be able to follow it.


I don't know about you but when I was a kid I had wet dreams. When it first happened I was shocked. Then I got to like it. Then I got to hate it.


The reason for the latter is that it occurred randomly. Sometimes this would be at a most inconvenient time like when I was at a karate camp and shared a room with 5 guys.


The funny thing is that whilst it was something I didn't want as a child I'd be quite happy to have one now.


This line of thinking also came from the fact that I only seem to have nightmares these days. I can't recall when this started to happen but it's been going on for some time now. Again doing some research I've discovered that medication I'm using results in 7% of users having "abnormal dreams". 


And so wishing for something on the lighter side made me think of nocturnal emissions or wet dreams.


It also made me laugh about the "circle of life". I've read somewhere that our mind's abilities go in a circle over our lifetime or put another way we revert to our childhood as we get old.


Lastly this nightmare scenario is more about the recent past that a long term thing. In fact the other side effect of the medication is that my dreams can be very vivid. So much so in fact that a couple of times I've had really long vivid dreams that I thought would make very very unique and awesome movie plots. Shame I can't remember them in the morning and become a billionaire!


3. Memory


Hmm speaking of memory. I have a general lack of one and right now I've forgotten the other stories I wanted to tell so this particular blog will have to be a work in progress….

Circumcision - Muslimism

Eek! That's my first reaction anyway.


and.. ok so I invented a new word - muslimism. I figure being a pretend English teacher has to have it's perks.


So today is a special day in Boran's life. Today he was circumcised. It's a major event in the life of a Turkish child. I'm not sure what it signifies especially but it's a requirement to become a Muslim. So I guess therein I've answered my own question.


Funnily enough it came up in another discussion just recently and considering the topic that's got to be pretty unusual and quite a coincidence. I think so anyway.


The other topic developed over time on Saturday as the walking crew returned from a manic forest trek (we got lost and well and truly had to make a new track to get out).


As with our trip the previous weekend Sabriye, Ülkü and I stood on the bus in a group. We were joking around and poking fun at Ülkü by saying her good friend Mete was her boyfriend. 


This lead onto a really funny discussion. I asked Ülkü if she would marry a non-Muslim. She said she wouldn't and when I asked why she said she wasn't sure. After a while she came out and said she actually would.


So I suggested she and I marry later this week which brought some laughter. We went onto talk about other things and quite some time later she was talking about her mother. She mentioned that her mum was the "boss" in the house.


This prompted me to ask her if she was the boss also and she said she was. At this point I said the marriage was off as I couldn't deal with this. More laughter..


The whole topic then came to me talking about the fact that it seemed from recent discussions that if I was to marry a Turk I'd need to become a Muslim as most women felt they should marry someone of the same faith. I'd done some very basic reading on what this entailed and found that - and I have to embarrassingly admit to my surprise in my ignorance - it was fundamentally the same as other religions.


So then I posed to various people the question "Who would my life change if I were to become a Muslim". This brought a mix of answers the whittled down to very little when I mentioned that as with any religion being a member doesn't imply full participation.


In Turkey which is 98% Muslim they practice in varying degrees ranging from merely a title to the full whack with 5 prayer sessions a day etc.


Then this morning I posed the same question to Emrah and along with the obvious and perhaps because we had already talked about Boran he told me I'd have to be circumcised. 


Interestingly this immediately put me off the idea of being Muslim whereas nothing else beforehand had.


So let's end on a positive note anyways - here is the garb they dress in here to celebrate..

Two days later: Poor Boran. I feel for him. He's walking around the house in a singlet pulling it away from his body so it's not in contact with you-know-what.

A Very Sad Day

sniff…. sniff… 
Emrah has deserted me to return to his home town. It's all very sad really.


It's not the end but certainly a break. Who knows when we will next connect?


Actually it's a good excuse to see some more of Turkey and perhaps even more of the "real" Turkey as it's a plane flight and some from Istanbul.


Which leaves me alone at home with the progressively madder Mevlüde. I was reminded by Emrah that this means it's time to move on. He said that this month there won't be any power, water etc. I said that was ok I can do without those things - have a cold shower etc. Then it occured to me that no power means no internet and I had to eat my words.


I can't live without WiFi!


So by now I'm thinking Emrah is sitting down with his sister and brother-in-law enjoying the homely atmosphere and lack of someone yelling at him. He has his feet up and is enjoying a beer together with his sisters lovely home cooked food.


Hmm … I'm quite jealous.

Efes Dark Brown

Been an odd week really. It started off with a bang with the walks and meeting a horde of new Istanbulus. Then it immediately got back to the hum drum on Monday. Mind you it was pretty cool having a record 78 visits in a short space of time. These were to look at and 'like' or comment on the pictures I'd taken of the weekends activities.


Since then it's been a lot of not sleeping at night and taking "Nanna naps" during the day. I've tried to get motivated to clear a couple of things and succeeded even though it took me 3-4 days to do what could have been done in 3-4 hours.


Still progress is progress and I'm glad to have a lot of paperwork behind me and to have made some decisions along the way.


The key event has to be this mornings interview with the police to see about a residency permit. It took a while to find the right place to be but once there the process was relatively simple. Albeit (seems to be my word for 2011) that I didn't realise I needed to have plenty of cash in my Turkish bank account to provide I could pay for myself for the term of the residency.


So 50% of it is now complete. The rest based on what the officer said will be a matter of course (crosses fingers). Just wait for the funds to transfer from New Zealand and return to the police station to complete the paperwork and pay the fees.


This weekend looks to be interesting in terms of how much of it I'll survive. There's more walking ahead and my blistered foot is still objecting from last weekend. It's silly to exacerbate it but it's dead boring to not attend as well. Guess which one wins?!


After the initial rush on contacts with the locals following last weekend the ones that really want to have a yarn have identified themselves. I'm still having chats with people I've never met which is quite fun as there's always the opportunity of meeting at some stage.


Oh.. was almost about to sign off without mentioning the title…Efes is the local beer and in a lot of places the only one you can get. They have normal and dark varities. Today at the late night store (which I'm now frequenting more than I should) I spotted one called Efes Dark Brown.


I figured it was worth a try. Turns out it's beer and coffee together and packs quite a kick. I only had one which was enough ..!

Crazy Shopping Woman

Edit: I just changed the title of this blog and thought "Mention women and shopping in the same sentence and you know you are in for trouble".


After the long day searching for the police I was off to meet Elif who I had met on the forest walk.


She said that she had some work to do but that we should meet up first and then we could go for dinner. So I'm thinking no worries. A short bit of work and then some food. I hadn't eaten since breakfast in the morning.


So with some good directions I took a bus about an hour north of Istanbul to an affluent area just north of Bebek. It's quite tricky at times knowing where to go and more so where to get off public transport. 


I was asking Elif where I should hop off the bus when she asked me to give the phone to a local. So the poor unsuspecting guy sitting next to me got a tap on the shoulder and a phone shoved in his face. Luckily he was very accomodating. 


A short while later he returned the phone and Elif told me to look out for her waiting at a bus stop.


Later on down the track the guy motioned for me to follow him off the bus. I hadn't seen Elif but figured he knew what he was doing and I knew we were in the right general area from watching signs and shop names along the way. Plus it looked like a good place to eat and had a wealthy feel about it.


He tried to indicate something about taksis (taxis) and pointed into the distance past a roundabout. Realising that I wasn't quite following him he motioned for me to follow and took me to a taxi rank where he motioned me to stop and take a seat.


We called Elif and I guess he told her where I was. A short while later she found me.


As we headed off to where she needed to work the same man spotted us, came across the road and shook our hands. Passed a few words and said farewell. I'd say he was about 48 years old.


Earlier Elif had tried to explain what the work entailed. I got the gist that she needed to supervise some staff doing something and then we would head off for food.


Turns out I was a tad wrong.


As we walked to Carrefour which is one of the major supermarket chains she further explained her role. It was then that I realised she was about to do some covert market research. This was her new part-time job that helps her save to attend university.


She said she was very nervous as this was the first time and she wasn't sure how to sneakily take notes in her book to answer the massive number of questions that the market research required. 


Her idea was to pose as a guide for me who was helping me shop. It was quite funny as due to her nerves she made an elaborate cover story and seemed very concerned about being found out.


I spent my time trying to convince her that no-one cared what she was doing and besides we drew a fair amount of attention to ourselves. We found a collection of swimming pool tubes, grabbed one each and proceeded to pretend we were in Star Wars. A few bashes later and she got me a real good hard knock to my nose which prompted many apologies and brought and end to the fun.


And so we proceeded around the supermarket writing down information on the products and then we had to buy some items, get some help, and return some items. It was all a bit mad really. And totally not what I had expected.


I mean - who invites someone to dinner and then drags them around a supermarket pretending to shop!? And when you hardly know each other? Very weird.


Another thing we did was cause havoc at check out. One of the items we bought was two pears. Although I hadn't noticed Elif had removed the pricing sticker that a staff member had given us after weighing the fruit.


So when we arrived to pay there was a small commotion as the assistant told us we needed to weight the fruit to get a price. Turns out that it's their job to call someone and get them to run and get a price for us. Turns out that this particular fella wasn't interested in this at all. He only did it when Elif asked him to.


Once another staff member had got the price we caused another commotion by not wanting to queue again as he suggested. In fact he just placed our pears at the end of a line of people and was about to walk off which I thought was a bit poor.


Once again she had to intervene and we got "special treatment" and he opened an isle to process our purchase.


At the end I was quite tired of it all but it was a fun exercise and certainly something I would be very surprised to find myself doing again.


Just as well we made our own entertainment along the way...