Sunday, June 17, 2012

Family

I spend an inordinate amount of time watching people. 


It's especially fun in a country that I'm not so familiar with - where the cultural differences mean that people act in different ways. In these situations I have to be careful not to apply my cultural values on their actions. What might be considered rude in my culture isn't necessarily so here. Although there seems to be a fairly large crossover.


For some reason I often find myself looking at people and trying to interpret their level of happiness from their: facial expressions, gestures, mannerisms, speech and presence.


A couple of examples come to mind:


One


I was on the ferry returning from Kınalıada to İstanbul when an Arabic family of 8 came aboard. So far my observation of custom is that the husband plows ahead leaving the wife behind to cater to the children.


On this ferry there are a number of steps to navigate.


Following dad up the stairs I observed the cacophony of children that came after him. Actually that's an unfair statement as they were all very well behaved. Before I realised which person was mum I was trying to identify her from what where in fact their children. Husbands can have much younger wives.


Then mum came up the stairs which their youngest (say 2 years old) in a pram. The 3rd youngest, the only boy, was helping her with the pram.


I was enchanted by the calmness on her face. She looked very relaxed and, unlike so many mothers, the heat and circumstances didn't appear to bother her at all. 


She had a broad smile across her face and once at the top of the stars took her time to look around and take in the view. Then she trundled over to her flock and joined her husband.


The children's interactions were lovely to observe as well. The age range was approximately 2 to 17 and they all got on really well - either playing or chatting together. Dad was noticeable for his lack of interaction which didn't seem to phase anyone.


I wondered how the parents had managed to bring about such a lovely caring family.


Two


Another situation occurred when I was walking about town. It was a fiercely hot day with high humidity and I was exhausted and drenched in sweat.


I noticed a largish mother holding a baby in her arms with a small son, say 4, walking behind her. They were waiting for a taxi.


When the taxi arrived and pulled over to collect them, mum opened the front passenger window and was about to get in when she noticed that her son was struggling a little bit with the load he was carrying.


She then proceeded to extract a hand from no where and open the rear door for her son.


It was a small gesture but it struck me greatly because I hadn't seen it before.


These were mother stories but it just so happens that it's fathers' day here today.







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